On this day, Jax and I had a full day all to ourselves. Joshua had to drive up to Jacksonville, FL (about 3 hours away) for work, which meant leaving home early in the morning and getting back home later than usual. Since it would be my first full day alone with Jax in this new place, I decided that the best way to get through this day, was to go exploring and head out to the beach. The beach, in a way, has become my go to place with Jax. We have been lucky enough, these past several years, to have lived on the coast, whether it was the Gulf Coast and now the Atlantic Coast, where getting to the beach is an easy, short drive and even more thrilling, is how beautiful the beaches near us have been. Whenever I have a free day with Jax, I instantly think of the beach. For me, being outside, by the water, under the sun, is an instant fix. Sometimes, it is seeing how calm and far the water extends out into the horizon and sometimes it is hearing the waves crash and feeling the slight breeze in the midst of it, that brings me into that spiritual happy place. The big difference between this beach and the beaches in Northwest Florida, along the Gulf, also known as the Emerald Coast, is the sand. Over where we used to live, the sand is so white that from afar it can be mistaken as snow. Believe it or not, people have asked me this before, whether it was in person as we drove along the road that ran parallel to the shore, overlooking the breathtaking sand dunes or through photographs I have taken over the years, forgetting we were in Florida, where the suns out and the weather is hot! The sand is so soft that when you run, you can hear it squeak. You will hardly ever find shells or tiny rocks or anything that gets in the way of walking barefoot. It is perfection. With that being said, when I first saw the beaches here, along the Treasure Coast, I instantly felt like I will forever just miss those white sandy, shell-less beaches with calm, tranquil water, that seem to extend out, farther than your sight could reach, but after yesterday's experience, I'm starting to feel differently. Of course, I will probably always refer to the Emerald Coast as the most beautiful beaches I had ever seen in the United States but I am starting to also realize that there may be plentiful of benefits of having shells in the sand and waves out in the water. My day at the beach with Jax showed me how fun our beaches here can also be. Picking out sea shells, then throwing ones Jax didn't find as interesting, back into the ocean, added another activity into our beach day, that even I, found quite exciting. We found all kinds of interesting shells and even a couple of feathers and random knick knacks, in this natural coastal treasure. On this day, like most days Jax and I spend on the beach, we were there for hours and throughout that time, it felt like we were once again in this huge playground that presented itself with endless activities and imaginary games. One of these continuous games, was standing as close as we can to the water and then running away as fast as we can away from it, as the waves came rolling in, strongly and steadfastly. It was like a back and forth game of chase and thankfully, Jax loved to play that game, because at his age, being out so close to the water can be scary. Back where we used to live, there were hardly any waves, which meant for Joshua and I, swimming out far into the water and feeling like we were in the biggest swimming pool in the world, but waves for Jax, is a reminder of the things that he still fears and questions about, regarding the immense ocean. As I've mentioned time and time again, Jax loves the water, but he loves it, just as long as he can play in it, without getting hit by an unexpected wave, that may crash over his head or get overwhelmed by the water hindering his eye sight. That scares him! I guess, who wouldn't be... So, for now, as scary as the waves may be, watching him challenge the waters like he did yesterday, only to run away from it, when it came too close or when it crept up, almost teasingly yet quickly into the spaces between his toes, also became my comfort. I knew that unlike those calm, serene waters back near our old stomping grounds, where his curiosity would constantly entice him to walk further and further into the ocean until he could no longer touch the ground, which intensified how much more intently I had to keep my eyes glued to him at all times and be within arms' reach, the presence of the waves in this beach, kept Jax just close enough to touch the water, but fearful enough to not run into the ocean. Who knows how long this relationship to the ocean waves will last for Jax. For now, it has given me less to worry about and more reasons to enjoy our beach days.
Jensen Beach, Florida
Photographs taken on 5.20.2014
